The Archives...   July 1998 Issue
www.inlightimes.com

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Give Up Additions Forever
(part II)

by Robert Sidell

 


 

Experiment With The System. Once I discovered how powerful and easy it was to change behaviors with this system, I started using it for things not normally considered addictions. Consider these areas and try this system:

A. Stop Criticizing your Husband/Wife!

Many people get into an addictive pattern of attacking their spouse, and finding fault. This becomes so ingrained it often leads to divorce. Consider stopping all criticism for some period of time you know you can fulfill. You will be amazed what happens — you will find so much peace in your relationship. By the way, you may be thinking you need to get your spouse to do this. But if you do it yourself, and stick with it, there is a good chance your spouse will change automatically.

B. Give up Fault Finding!

It is so easy to get into a habit of finding fault in everyone and everything. We can see fault in politicians, in our friends, our family, the economy or virtually any area of life.

Yet, it is critical that we learn to transform this habit, because we create according to our dominant thought patterns. Therefore, if we wish to find a world that is happy, positive, and moving in the future we want, we must learn to give up the addiction of fault finding. Try this for a period of time; dare to give up fault finding and see what happens in your life.

C. Give up Self-Contempt!

So many people live in terrible judgment of themselves. They never live up to their own expectations. They always feel they should be something different than they are. Try practicing total self-acceptance for a month, or two months, without any self-criticism! You will find peace begins to come into your world. Of course, as you learn to accept yourself you will find miracles start flowing into your world.

D. Choose Your Ideal Weight.

I have used this system with remarkable effectiveness to set my weight. After we had our first child, for some reason I put on about 15 lbs and was never able to take it off. In fact I kept getting heavier. I tried several diets with the same results: I would lose weight and put it back on. A very familiar story, I am sure you will agree.

Finally, at the beginning of the year I made a commitment, a fully informed choice regarding the weight I wanted to be. I didn’t commit to eating, or not eating any particular foods. Only that by a certain date I would be a certain weight, with a several pound margin of error built in.

Somehow, since that time, knowing it was my choice, without any “shoulds” involved, I have lost over 15 lbs, and have kept the weight off. What is really interesting is it has been effortless. I haven’t been on a diet. All that has happened is I have really become aware of the effect different foods have on my body. I naturally have tended to eat less fats, and less food in general.

But the real secret is within my heart I knew I would lose the weight. I didn’t doubt because I made the commitment and knew I would keep it. After all, we can all lose weight if we have to. It is just a matter of choice.

If you simply view all the choices you are making without judgment, then you will be free to make decisions that are most effective, and serve your life the best. It is your life. However you want to be is okay. It will have consequences, but it is okay. Relax, and choose the life you really want! You can do it!

Summary And Action Plan

1. The key to mastering your addictions is choice. You can give anything up if it really is your choice to do so.

2. Once you are absolutely clear you want to release a habit or behavior, then choose some time period where you will cease the behavior. Choose a period that you are comfortable with. If smoking were your choice, start with 30 days, and then before the 30 days has expired renew for another 30 days if that is what you want. Start with a shorter period first to see how you feel. This leaves choice in your hands..

3. The key to remember is that we have no indecision or difficulty if we have really made up our minds. Temptation doesn’t arise unless you are considering changing your mind. This is why you want to set a period you are comfortable with. You will be amazed how easy it is to follow through since doubt will never enter your mind.

4. Give up all Self-Judgement. Remember it is perfectly okay to engage in smoking or other habits, however, the habit may have very bad health consequences! You are not bad if you continue with an addiction, but you may end up paying a price that is unpleasant for you and your loved ones.

5. Self-Honesty is the key. What do you really want? Why do you want to change? Is it because someone else wants you to? Are you experiencing negative consequences in life? Follow your heart, and you can release any addiction.


Give Up Addictions Forever was excerpted from Robert's book, "Walk the High Road". Robert, an ordained minister is also an attorney licensed in Nevada, California and Arizona. 702-384-3847 or 800-828-2863 outside Nevada.


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