Looking For Love
In All The Wrong Places

By Dr. Patricia Artes

After speaking at a luncheon recently, I was approached by a woman from the audience who sought my advice concerning her distress over the fact she was no longer in love with her husband. Tearfully, she explained that deep down she did love him. However, she felt the fire was gone and she was not ‘in love’ with her husband. She felt she was being cheated out of that most important sensation, as though her husband had removed or stolen the magic. When asked if her husband was no longer attentive to her needs, she replied he was devoted, but she had (as the song goes) ‘lost that loving feeling’. 

Where did the feeling go? What happened to the feeling? Did someone take it?

As we evolve spiritually, we understand any and all feelings we may have, whether they be positive or negative, whether they be love or hate, whether they be happiness or sadness come from only one place. That place is from within. Happiness or love can neither be given nor taken away. You cannot buy happiness nor can happiness or love be given to you as a gift. Looking for love to come from an outside source is impossible. An adjustment in perception must be made in order to alter or recreate the reality within.

If you were lucky enough to have been given the gift of being able to really wish for something when you were a child, (if you were not just always given everything you wanted), you will understand my little metaphor: When I was a child, I wished for a particular doll I had seen on a television commercial. I wanted that doll so badly I could feel, taste and smell her. I dreamed of that doll day and night. Finally, after months of wishing, my seventh birthday arrived. I opened my birthday package and there she was! To say I was elated would be an understatement. I loved her so much it made my bones ache. 

A doll is an inanimate object. It cannot give love. Yet, I felt love. It is, therefore, plain to understand that if the love did not come from the doll, it had to have come from within me. I allowed myself to feel that love. That was the same love feeling I had when I fell in love for the first time in high school. Try to remember that feeling – your first love! Think about that tingling sensation you felt when you looked into that infatuation filled, wonderful face! Those wonderful feelings did not come from the one that was looking deep into your eyes. Those wonderful feelings were coming from within. In the case of the woman who fell out of love, her husband did not change. It was only her perception that actually changed! 

In order to recapture that wonderful feeling of being in love we have to go back into our centermost sacred place within our subconscious mind. We have to still that busy and overactive mind and look within. What we have fallen out of love with is not necessarily the spouse; but rather the self. We look toward outside sources seeking validation from others that we are valuable and deserving of love. That miracle of validation and authenticity is ours to enjoy when we recapture our own love of self and stop looking to others for validation. 

What so many people are looking for today is exactly that validation. They feel life is passing them by. That they have not been given the same ‘good hand’ others have been dealt. They may feel they have been cheated in the love department, because they do not ‘feel’ the love to which they think they are entitled. They are waiting to enjoy their lives at a later time when they might be dealt a new or more improved hand, instead of enjoying and living right now! What they are looking for so desperately, already exists within their spirit. It is from within they attain the knowledge to realize they are indeed worthy and they themselves have the power to generate all of the feelings they seek. If you want to be in love again, start with yourself! Then start looking at that spouse with love in your eyes. Eventually, that love might rekindle and spark that flame. Who knows where that will lead.

The search for love is on, close your eyes and look within!

Affirmations of Love: Through my oneness with the Universe, I can feel the wonderful love of all creation within myself. I feel the light and flow of love entering and resonating through the whole of my being.

Patricia Artes,. Ph.D. does stress relief, past life regressions and works with those seeking to release outdated habits. 702-558-4465.