by Astrid Fitzgerald 
(© 2001 excerpted from Being Consciousness Bliss A Seeker’s Guide)

Some twenty years ago I attended a week-long spiritual retreat, hungry for some spiritual food — some illuminating morsels of wisdom that would shed some light on my reason for existence. After early morning meditation, my group was told to get into work clothes for housecleaning. What has this got to do with self-knowledge, I wondered.

"The practice for this week will be to refrain from all criticism," the tutor said. "At the end of the work session each one will have an opportunity to offer your observations."

That’s a cinch, I said to myself, I’m not a critical person. It wasn’t until the tutor instructed us to pause and reflect that I realized I had been flagrantly engaged in faulting the woman next to me for getting the floor too wet and silently telling her where to go. How did the tutor know I had been criticizing?

When the work session was finally over, I was exhausted — exhausted from trying to refrain from all criticism, failing woefully and ending up criticizing myself.

Later I learned that everyone had much the same experience. That didn’t make me feel any better.

After I took part in many more work sessions and years of practicing objective self-observation, the value of refraining from all criticism and expressing negative thoughts became clear to me. In effect, this practice leads to the purification of mind and heart (a prerequisite on the spiritual path).

The dictionary definition of the word "to purify" is "to make pure, to make free from anything that debases, pollutes, contaminates." I realized that when we criticize, whether ourselves, others or situations, we are in fact debasing, polluting and contaminating our being and consciousness.

Criticism does not ever serve the truth or the good. Increasingly, criticism has become an acceptable national past-time at social gatherings. This past-time, however, is not as innocent as it might seem. What’s set in motion on the subtle level is very destructive we are corrupting our personal relationships, our social relations and institutions as well as polluting ourselves and our endeavors . When the intent is malicious, criticism turns into slander; it then not only debases but has the power to destroy. (The injunction to "refrain from all criticism" is a specific inner discipline. As such it does not refer to cultural critiques or to constructive criticism leading to positive change. Nor does it apply when the need arises to bring wrongdoing to light.)

When we look at ourselves in the light of conscious observation, we begin to see many faults and short comings. To criticize ourselves for them would be counterproductive and even destructive. When we criticize ourselves, we are wasting precious time. We are not observing objectively but are instead engaging in self-contamination. In such moments, there is no space or light available for healing. By contrast, when we see a flaw in ourselves but refrain from criticizing it, we simply and objectively acknowledge it and let it go. I found that the healing of this problem will usually come about in the moment of seeing truly seeing. If need be, we take specific action to remedy the situation without comment, blame or guilt. Then, a real healing can take place.