Dear Louise,

I’m 45 and have struggled with depression since childhood. Although from outside appearances it would appear I had an idyllic childhood, behind the scenes I had a dysfunctional family with alcoholism on both sides.

I have an older sister who’s very successful and has always been favored. Other family members have recognized this, but my sister says she doesn’t. She has a completely different relationship with my parents than I do. She’s married with a child ; I’m single and very much alone except for my two cats, and live in the house my mother bought for me four years ago, which is supposedly mine although my name is nowhere on the deed.

Because of my depression (and other ailments including lupus) I haven’t worked steadily, so I rely on my parents for money. I feel I need to speak my truth. If you can shed light on my situation, I’d be most grateful.

F.S ., Portland, ME

I feel you’re stuck in the past. Your mind goes over and over the old experiences, and you don’t allow yourself to see a bright future. As hopeless as your situation feels, it’s really only your own thoughts that you’re dealing with. As you choose to change your thinking, your whole life will respond.

There’s a part of you that wants to remain the helpless child, and you want your parents to give you the love and affection that you were denied back then.

The trouble with remaining a victim is that you give all your power away. As a child, you didn’t have much choice, but now you’re an adult, and no one can think in your mind but you. You’re not a victim unless you choose to believe you are.

The depression (hopeless anger) and other ailments will disappear when you’re willing to stop wanting to punish your parents for the past. Forgive, forgive, forgive, and then forgive some more. Forgiveness is not for them, it’s for you. So stop thinking about the past. Keep your thoughts in the now, today, in this moment. Affirm I AM THE LOVING PARENT I SEEK, AND I TAKE LOVING CARE OF MY INNER CHILD.

Dear Louise,

I’m blessed with two beautiful girls and everything else in my life. Miracle after miracle happens every day. But I’m still struggling with alcohol addiction, and can’t understand its cause. At the very moment when I feel strong and believe it’s behind me, I’m tempted so strongly I can’t deal with it.

The period of time between these temptations is longer and longer every time, and the response of my body is worse every time. I’m still drinking and abusing myself. I thought I could handle it on my own, but I can’t. Thank God that I know I need help.

C.I., Chicago, IL

You’re not alone. Many struggle with this same problem, which is why Alcoholics Anonymous (AA) was born—to help people like you who want to put an end to their internal conflict. They’re the experts in this field and will be able to help you under-stand the origins of your addiction and how to find the solution. Contact an AA group in your area immediately!

It’s an act of loving yourself to reach out like this. You can move away from your thoughts of the past and create the bright future you deserve. Affirm THE ANSWER IS AT HAND, AND I AM FREE OF THE PAST. ALL IS WELL!

Dear Louise,

I seem to be in a rut. I’m very attracted to this older man who comes in for lunch where I work. He’s quite a bit older, but I think about him all the time. Just seeing him seems to make the day go by better. However, we both have a spouse. I don’t know if somewhere in my life there’s an imbalance. Why do I want this man? I know it’s wrong to lust after him. Can you help me?

M.P. Detroit, MI

Yes, you’re in a rut, and a most useless one at that. It’s a total waste of your precious thoughts to obsess about a customer like this. It can’t possibly create any good in your life. Your thoughts are your most valuable tools. Every thought you think is creating your future—which is why you need to continually monitor your thinking.

Think of your thoughts like a paintbrush on a canvas. What is the picture you’re creating? Is it muddied and confusing, or clear and beautiful? Choose thoughts that make you feel good. Thoughts of gratitude and appreciation bring you many more experiences to be grateful for. Love the life you have now, and know that love will expand to include more good than you can even imagine. The Law of Attraction is always operating. Be joyous, and more and more joy will enter your life. Affirm I AM SO PLEASED WITH MY LIFE NOW, AND I KNOW THAT IT WILL ONLY GET BETTER AND BETTER.