 Resilient Living For The
21ST Centuryby Sunny Tice, MSW LCSW  In today’s fast paced, rapid-change society, people are struggling, more than ever, to juggle the demands of work, family obligations and responsibilities. Stress on the job and burnout are acute as longer work hours and heavier work loads become common place. There is increased job uncertainty as many companies downsize or divert more jobs to other countries. People wear multiple hats and are forced to do more with less. It is difficult enough to meet family needs with two parents working and twice as challenging for the single parent home. We strive for balance between having enough time for everyone and everything and we still must find time to nurture ourselves. However, in doing so, how do we also manage the unexpected setbacks, unforeseen adversity or sudden losses that add increased stress to the mix? I see many people in my private practice who share a common concern, “I feel overwhelmed.” They are troubled about family conflicts, divorce issues, difficult teens, serious health problems, and financial stressors. Then there’s concerns about road rage, terrorism, random acts of violence, and war — all of which tug at our increasing sense of uncertainty. According to Nikolas Rose in his article, “Becoming Neurochemical Selves”, between 1990 and 2000 there has been a dramatic 70.1% increase in the use of anti-depressants and anti-anxiety medications in our society. It is no longer about simply managing stress but rather adapting to an even higher level of functioning to handle concentrated stress. The buzz word in the corporate world today is RESILIENCE. This is the ability to manage frequent change and difficult experiences swiftly, confidently and with the capacity to learn from those challenges and bounce back faster, smarter and stronger. A 30-year Gallop research study conducted on the qualities of resiliency revealed that each of us has attributes of resiliency. One major example was the response of many on September 11, 2001, and later the individual efforts of families, friends, and co-workers to rebuild their lives and to pull something positive out of such a tragic experience. It was a time that brought out the very best of a resilient American spirit. However, not all people are necessarily resilient to the same degree. Some are more proficient at it than others. The bounce-back ability may be more challenging and take longer for some. The good news is that the thoughts, behaviors, and actions of resiliency can be learned and/or strengthened in anyone. As the role models for our children, perhaps instilling resiliency skills is one of the best gifts we can give them. Whether we learn it from parents or are somehow able to pull it from the roots of our soul, it is a strength we cannot do without. We need resilient kids if they are to “thrive” in the 21st century. PERSONALIZING RESILIENCY Resiliency can express itself in many forms. As a child growing up in the ‘50s, resiliency was just another word I could neither spell nor define. But without realizing it, I had my own kind of resilience and it served me well for many years. Adopted at age two, I grew up in an environment of extreme abuse. Even with the abuse I felt a deep spiritual connection and strength which helped sustain me. This strength kept me hopeful that God and I would one day create a wonderful life for me when I became an adult. Much of keeping me on track was visualizing what my future could look like. I told myself, “This won’t last forever.”
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