A Sheep In Wolf’s Clothing

By Jack Rabbit

The other day, I was driving to the lake with my wife. We were having a rather pleasant conversation about my new writing hobby. On this particular subject we have differing points of view and very understandably so. Through conversing with her, I discovered she had a few fears about what people think concerning my ever-changing points of view concerning life in general. She has certainly observed the reactions of several of our close friends who have been noticing the obvious changes in my total outlook on life. It is not that I no longer care about them. It is just that I now crave a much simpler life, free from societies games of ego. Many of my friends have simply drifted away or, found someone else to fill the void I left behind when I woke-up.

I was always thought of as the “Wolf in Sheep’s clothing.” I was evermore on the lookout for something which could advance either my financial or social status. Not so very long ago, I was the typical “I have a plan for everything” person. I would decide what major purchases we made, what our plans would be for every weekend, who we would go out with, etc. Basically, I had the run over it if it doesn’t move and get out my way attitude.

To make all of this even worse, I have often been told that I had a very “charming” way of going about this. I am sure all of you have run into someone similar at some point in life.

Now, would you believe I consider myself a “Sheep in Wolf’s clothing?” Sadly, I am still perceived to be the same as I always was by most people. Many think I am on some New Age Trip and just looking for a new angle to take advantage of. Or better yet, I am just having a mid-life crisis. Lately I find it very difficult to tell anyone what they should be doing let alone how they should go about doing it.

My life has become a series of preferences versus a life of must haves. I no longer try to bully or charm my way through anything. I do not make very many set plans anymore other than for work. But, I never forget it is my choice that I choose to go to work everyday. I awake each morning knowing with absolute certainty that I am where I choose to be. If I truly wanted to be somewhere else, I would be.

It used to be so easy to blame someone else for being where I was or for the things I felt. Now, if I feel like I need to be doing something, I do it. If I choose to be somewhere else I go there. If I feel like there is something I should be doing and I deny it, I am giving that particular thought power over myself.

The trick is to uncover the why behind the want to do something. Is it something I should be doing or is it something someone else thinks I should be doing? Oftentimes, I hear someone say, “I feel so guilty for not doing this.” Or, “I wish I lived there instead of here. Then, I would be away from all of this.” If you are trying to hide from your SELF where can you go? I have lived in four different states. In these states I have lived in at least 20 different homes. I can say with absolute certainty I have had some very good times and some very bad times in all of them. When the times were good, it wouldn’t have made any difference at all where I was. Unfortunately I can say the exact same thing about the times things were not so good. The only difference now is I can reflect back on the good or the bad things in my life for a few minutes and laugh at just about any of them. I seem to be doing this quite often these days. Did I mention, I have also been accused of going slightly insane on occasion?

Today, I am very elusive in most of the responses I make. Several times, I have been asked, “Jack what should I do in this situation?” I often find myself answering with a question like, “What do you think you should do in this situation?” I then act as a sounding board for them. I have found, most have already decided on some course of action and are really just looking for confirmation. I guess the difference now is once they tell me what they think they should be doing, I follow up with another simple question, “Why?” This has certainly led to an interesting discussion or two.

If asked for specifics concerning my own actions or beliefs, I elude to, “just do what feels right for you no matter what that is and have an open mind for everyone else.” I firmly believe this is one area we must all work out for ourselves. Each of us, are going to have our own idiosyncrasies to deal with and that is more than enough for anyone. There are certainly many individuals much more comfortable in this area than I will ever be. All I can do is share what little I have experienced in the hope more people open their minds and take notice of the mystery and wonder that surrounds us all every second of everyday.

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