Dear Louise

Louise L Hay is a metaphysical teacher and best-selling author of 27 book s including, You Can Heal Your Life,  Empowering Women,  Meditations to Heal Your Life,  Letters t o Louise, and The Power Is Within You.

Since beginning her career as a Science of Mind minister in 1981, she has assisted thousands of people in discovering and using the full potential of their own creative powers for personal growth and self-healing.

 Louise’s works have been translated into 25 different languages in 33 countries.

Dear Louise,
I have been a member of the Church of Religious Science for five years. More and more, I find myself out of step with most of my non-church-going friends. I recommend books to them that I find inspirational, but they do not read them. I loan them audio tapes that have moved me, but they are returned to me not listened to. I say things that are intended to be helpful, and I get strange looks like I’ve just walked out of a spaceship. More and more I’m feeling that I’m ahead of my own time. I wish I could give my friends a boost up and bring them to where I feel I am. Why do people resist the truth so much?
R.S., Torrance, CA

Dear R.S.,
When we first come across metaphysical truths, we want to share them with all our friends. Every time we listen to a lecture or read a book, we have our antennae alert, and often say, “Oh, this would be so good for so-and-so.” However, so-and-so may not be ready to let new ideas in or to make changes in their lives. We all awaken in our own time frame—not sooner, not later. Ten years ago, you may not have been open to these ideas, but when you were ready, the teacher appeared.

Don’t waste your time on others who are not interested. You have more than enough work to do on yourself. When you have made dramatic changes in your own life, others will come to you and ask, “What have you done? Your life is so different.” Then they may be ready to listen.

When we awaken and begin to change our lives for the better, we often lose old friends who do not wish to move forward in the same way that we do. Everybody goes through this. It is a normal, natural part of growing and changing. Be open, and life will bring you new and more advanced friends to fill the vacuum.

Affirm: I now attract many new people into my life who are on the pathway.

Dear Louise,
My sister recently pointed out to me that I have had “my head in the sand” concerning my 37-year-old son’s addictions to marijuana and alcohol. I realize now I have “numbed out” rather than face the issue honestly, which is what I did when I was married to his alcoholic father—and probably what I did earlier in my life.

My son has a Ph.D., and is very “smart.” I guess I thought his high IQ would help him solve these problems, but it hasn’t. What can I do to help him and to help myself?
W. P., Toronto, Canada

Dear W. P.,
If you were brought up in a family where “denial” was common, then your reaction to your son’s addiction is very normal. Remember, most parents usually don’t want to see that their children have problems of this sort. It brings up too many guilt feelings: “Where did I go wrong?” You were the best mother you were capable of being at that time, so please don’t berate yourself. Let us look for solutions instead.

Don’t try to “fix” your son. If you truly want to help your son and yourself, then your first step it to go to Al-Anon for a few meetings. They are experts in this sort of problem and are easily found in the yellow pages. You will come to understand yourself in a very loving way and find guidelines for helping your son to heal.

Affirm: Our healing has begun, and we are safe.

Dear Louise,
I lost a wonderful job last year that I had for 13 years—directing a church choir. The people loved me and my work, but the new minister didn’t, and I was forced to resign. Since then, I’ve started my own choir and have worked in many churches, but I’m still struggling with forgiveness. The core issue is not being acknowledged for 13 years of loyal and dedicated service.

I’ve done the following work: thanked God for my blessings, sent everyone in the church a letter thanking them for the opportunity to serve them, visualized a big balloon with church members floating in the air, and have tried different therapies.

However, I cannot run into a church member on the street without feeling a terrible aching pain. What am I missing?
M.D., Long Island, NY

Dear M.D., I think what might be missing for you in the healing process is the acknowledgment of feelings of grief. Grief is cumulative. If we don’t express it, the emotions remain trapped in the body. Each time we experience a loss, the pain continues to build, one wound on top of the other. It is very important that you don’t hold yourself back from the feelings. Allow yourself to feel them completely so they can move through you and you can be free. You spent many years with these people. It’s only natural to grieve their “loss” in your life.

Do join a Grief Therapy Group—it will be so helpful. Call the Grief Recovery Hotline at 1-800-445-4808.

Affirm: I allow myself to flow through my experience of grief. It is safe and healing here. I am free.

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Questions for Louise? Write to Dear Louise Column, c/o Hay House, Inc., P.O. Box 5100, Carlsbad, CA 92018-5100 (letters may be edited for length and clarity). Due to the volume of e-mails Louise receives, she can no longer respond via the Internet.

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