Taking Responsibility

By Melissa Moraja

Blaming others is a form of giving your power away. It’s where you aren’t taking responsibility for your actions, decisions, and choices in life and deferring the blame onto someone or something else. Instead of accepting responsibility, you make excuses for why you didn’t succeed or weren’t able to accomplish something in your life. How many times have you done one of the following?

• Blamed your parents for you being the way you are versus accepting yourself as you are and making your life better at this moment in time?

• Blamed your boss for not giving you the promotion versus taking the responsibility that perhaps you weren’t as qualified as another person?

• Blamed traffic or the slow driver for making you late to an appointment versus taking responsibility that you could have left earlier to ensure you made it to the appointment on time?

Think of three times where you have blamed someone else as a result of your own actions or irresponsibility. Why did you blame someone else?

We all blame someone or something at some point in our lives. It’s normal to have one of those days where everything seems to be working against us. For instance, we wake up one morning only to find our alarm clock didn’t go off; thus making us late to catch the train which also makes us late for work. Most people would be angry at either themselves or the clock. It’s natural and actually healthy to process those feelings. However, there is a balance. If we constantly are complaining that life isn’t fair because we have missed the train three times in the last week, then we are not taking responsibility for our own actions. We are the one responsible for setting the alarm clock to ensure we arrive on time for work, not anyone else.

“The pessimist sees difficulty in every opportunity.
The optimist sees the opportunity in every difficulty.”

~ Winston Churchill, British Orator, Author & Prime Minister

Through experience of consulting individuals, I’ve found many people begin to blame others more often when everything in their life isn’t going the way they had planned. They tend to start complaining more and also take on a more negative tone when communicating. The following will assist you with knowing if you aren’t taking responsibility for your personal actions, decisions, and choices.

How do you know if you aren’t taking responsibility for your actions, decisions, and choices?

• You feel life is unfair where everyone else’s life seems to be going well while yours seems to always have obstacles and roadblocks.

• You see life where the glass is half empty versus being half full.

• You believe you are never wrong.

• You live in the past instead of the present.

• You are constantly complaining about how awful your life is.

• You have a negative outlook on life where you use the words “I can’t,” “I’m not able to,” or “I don’t.”

• You feel like you never get a lucky break or the world is out to get you.

Life is about learning lessons and experiencing. Sometimes things will flow smoothly, while at other times you’ll feel as if you are up against one road block after another. For instance, I didn’t grow up in a wealthy family. Because of my family’s financial situation, I was forced to apply for grants, scholarships, and any other form of financial aide that was available in order to be able to afford college. The aide I received paid for some of my education; however I still had to work a minimum of two jobs a semester in order to pay for the rest.

There was a time during college where I was angry at my parents for not saving for my college education. However, when I took a step back to look at the situation as a whole I realized my parents did the best they could with the means they had trying to give all four of their daughters everything they wanted. My parents may not have been financially wealthy, but they were wealthy in many other areas such as being loving people, loyal to their family, and optimistic.

We all have the ability to look at each situation in a positive or negative view point. It’s the ones that can take the lessons they have learned, make something better out of their lives, and in the end succeed in having a more fulfilling life.

What can you do to begin taking responsibility for your actions, decisions, and choices?

• Be open to people’s opinions and suggestions but realize you have free will with accepting their opinions or not.

• Allow others to help you if you need assistance.

• Be positive and find a silver lining in all situations.

• Forgive and let go.

• Admit you made a mistake and apologize when you are wrong.

We all have those days where nothing goes right. Let it be just one day and not your entire life.